Dad already knows, of course. He said he didn’t, but we both know he did. At least, he suspected. Which is probably why it wasn’t such a big shock to him and he could take it all so calmly. I didn’t expect that. I mean, my dad is the big, hetro-stud. Other than Natalie, Faith and the baby he and mom are about to have, he also has a daughter, Abigail, from this girl he dated in high school, and another son, Aaron, with the woman who is now married to my Uncle Caleb. (I know, I know, it’s complicated; don’t ask).
I thought hearing I was gay would flip Dad out. But he just kept saying that I was his son and he loved me and everything was going to be okay. I wanted to believe him so much.
And it was okay. With Dad. But the reaction I got from Mom...
You know, I expected her to be shocked but to be honest; I never thought she’d take it harder than Dad. I mean, he’s the guy, he’s supposed to be the one with the issues. But it was Mom, instead.
First, she told me I was just confused. Like I’ve been killing myself for the last few months to keep this a secret, when I wasn’t sure who I was or what I wanted.
And then she thought Jade put me up to this. But, if she’d been thinking clearly, she’d have seen that there was nothing in this for Jade. Jade’s only in clover if I was still using her as my beard. Once I come out, Jade loses everything, so why would Jade put me up to this?
And then, I guess to avoid thinking about me, Mom went on the offensive with Dad, asking him how he could have kept this from her?
They’re fighting again. About me. I knew this would happen. I knew it.