Friday, April 07, 2006

I’ve been causing problems for my parents for a long time. For one thing, I was born on the kitchen floor of my Grandma Emma’s farm – probably not Mom’s first choice for a delivery site. And then my biological dad, Damian’s, mother, tried to poison and kill my mom so she could have me all to herself (yeah, I was pretty cute and yeah, she was pretty nuts). A couple of years later, Damian kidnapped me and faked my death to keep me safe from some family enemies. My dad, Holden, got tangled up in that as well. (And we all learned that my Grandmother Lucinda packs a mean pistol).

And then there was the whole thing with Julia Larabee, when Mom confessed to her murder because she was afraid I’d done it. And my getting drunk and lost in Mexico. My mom was willing to marry that jerk Keith to get me a healthy kidney for a transplant.

So how have I repaid my parents for all that they’ve done for me? Let’s see, I’ve worried them sick with my drinking, I’ve lied to them, and I’ve practically blackmailed them over this Jade thing.

Why is it, the harder I try to protect them, the more damage I spew? I would never ever do anything deliberately to hurt my family. So why does it feel like that’s all I’m doing these days?


Blogger Mary Cherry said...

Blah, blah, blah whiney-cakes.

Look, hon, your folks are old enough to protect themselves. You need to quit worrying about them.

That Julia business, it's on them. Drinking? Well, if I had to look at your dad trying to be all earnest 24/7 or listen to Not-So-Li'l Lily jabbering on about talking, well, I'd put the bottle to my lips as well.

Now, quit playing kissyface with that trollop Jade and go get yourself copy of Liza with a Z.


6:22 PM  
Blogger Mark Spies said...

It feels like that because that's what's happening. All the stuff everybody's told you would happen is happening. So why aren't you getting it? Does a house have to fall on you? You're supposed to be a FRIEND of Dorothy, not Dorothy herself! So get on with it. COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE! And kiss Jade goodbye too, but please, not literally. Her presence in your lives is growing like a cancer. It's time for a radical Jade-ectomy.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Mark Spies said...

Mary, I didn't see your comments til now. "Whiney-cakes" pretty much sums it up. I'm just wondering if Luke isn't becoming jealous of his unborn sibling and is just raising all this hell for attention. Na, the kid really is screwed up. First he's tellng them, then he isn't, then he flaunts this pseudo-affair with Jade. When you think about it, he's really a manipulative son-of-a-gun, isn't he? I'm certainly finding him to be less of a sympathetic character. Nowadays, I'm more inclined to think of him as just pathetic. And hey, lay off of Holden! I've had a crush on him from the first time I saw him in the barn reading that farm magazine. It was hard to see from that angle, but I think it was called "Pen-House."

6:39 PM  
Blogger Alison Stewart said...

For starters all of that stuff that happened in the past is not your fault, so please don't worry about it.
As for the whole Jade thing, I know that you are worried about telling them the truth, but could it be worse that Jade? I don't think so, your mom would do a cartwheel if she knew that you weren't sleeping with Jade.

Please keep in touch
Best of Wishes

9:06 PM  
Blogger Mary Cherry said...

Mark, hon, I know what you mean. Luke's woe-is-me attitude is just like Palmolive--he's soaking in it.

Why, oh why, is he letting Jade wrap him around her poorly moisturized little finger?

As for Holden, what is his damage? He knows, pretends he doesn't, confronts Luke then backs off. He makes me want to pull a Cher by slapping him and yelling "snap out of it!"


6:00 PM  
Blogger h8ed boi said...

Oh Luke, you tragic, pathetic, angsty child.

All you're doing by letting Jade blackmail you into helping her is digging yourself a deeper and deeper hole. At the rate you're going you'll be in China by next week! (I hear some of those Chinese men are real good looking though) : )

If you don't stop all this nonsense now it's just going to build up like a huge dung pile and finally explode in your face. Then you'll be caught out, and covered in shit.

But seriously, come on now, where are your brains? I'm starting to think they mixed up in the hospital and transplanted that with the new kidney.

If you had any sense, you'd stop all this Jade crap.

So stop whining, and come out already.

Eternally yours,
your alias,
h8ed boi

1:24 PM  
Blogger Rose D'angelo said...

What'sthe matter Luciano, don't you read your own blog? Here are all these people telling you what a pathetic dope you are for continuing this Jade affair and not fessing up to who you really are. When are you going to wise up? Do I have to come over there and haunt the crap out of you?

2:12 PM  
Blogger Nic said...

Ditch the bitch. Easy, done.

I agree with Mark and Mary.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Mark Spies said...

If only the writers would listen to us, Nic! I've got another idea though. Rose, why don't you haunt JADE? After all, she's now living in YOUR house!

7:59 PM  
Blogger pH said...

ok, guys, just ease up on bringing the guy down! i know we all supporting luke, but fuck calling him a whiney-cake all the time...hmmm...really! but luke it is getting old and try to focus on some changes you have to make: like digging a hole and pushing that jade-woman in it and just fill it up and walk away. she is the evil in your life for now and cutting some evil away is a start. if you feel drinking is a way to cope with this problem, go right ahead, but it is more trouble than it is worth! fuck, that some guy from South Africa have to tell you this. problems are so universal! hehehe! listen to mary cherry there is wisdom in her madness!

2:49 AM  
Blogger Lucy Montgomery said...


Don't worry about what's happened in the past or somehow "repaying" your parents. Aunt Lily and Uncle Holden love you, no matter what. They don't need you to repay your parents for anything, you are already a gift to them.


P.S. I'm coming home this summer little cuz! I can't wait to see you! Maybe we can figure out this thing together, so you won't be living a lie. Miss you tons, I'll see you soon!

6:25 PM  
Blogger Mark Spies said...

Lucy, I heard you might be coming back. Good for you! Just remember, Dusty's off the market! I hope that by the time you get back, Jade will be gone, but if anyone can beat her in a catfight, it's you! By the way, has anyone bought a copy of OAKDALE CONFIDENTIAL yet? It's been shamelessly plugged on the show all week. I think I'll wait for the paperback.

5:58 PM  
Blogger Nic said...


I am so buying that ASAP. Stupid show....making me read, ugh. lol.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Mark Spies said...

Nic, Let me know if you get it. Tell me if it's worth the price. OMG, we gotta getta life!

2:30 PM  

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