Tuesday, January 31, 2006

My parents are never going to understand. If they ever find out the truth – they’ll hate me. I know that much already, even if they don’t. My parents are always telling me how they’re not perfect, how they make mistakes, too, blah, blah, blah…. But then they turn around and act like they know everything about everything and I’m just some stupid little kid who doesn’t even understand what’s going on around him.

Well, surprise, I’m not stupid. I knew when they were having marriage problems long before they told me they were splitting up. And I knew that Dad wanted Mom back before he’d admit it to anybody, even himself.

Now that they’re back together, my parents are acting like everything that happened last year was this hiccough, and now we can all go back to being this happy, picture perfect family. You know, the kind that prompts other people to gush, “Oh, we admire you so much and aren’t you just wonderful, how do you do it all?”

My mom likes for people to believe that everything is fine. And Dad goes along, because what makes Mom happy always comes first with him. Always.

They say they’ll always love me, even if I’m not perfect. But they’re imagining dumb crap like me failing a class, or crashing the family car, or forgetting to come home in time to baby-sit my sisters. They’re thinking about stuff that I might do. Stuff that can be fixed.

This is different. This is about who I am.

And I don’t think I’m fixable.

22 Comments:

Blogger AG said...

Hang in there, Luke. Sometimes parents forget what it is like to be a teen. Just try to be happy with who you are and accept yourself.

2:16 PM  
Blogger C.B.D. said...

Hi Luke. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Rats C said...

Luke, just wanted to let you kow I am rooting for you. Your parents aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, but your grandmothers are pretty good, so hang in there and be yourself.

7:16 PM  
Blogger BennettMarco said...

Hey Luke can you get me a date with your hot mom? Or maybe your aunt Meg?

7:18 PM  
Blogger Kevin Sheffield said...

Hey, when it came to clueless parents, mine took the proverbial cake and ran with it. Not to mention my wack job brother.

Now, just to get all advicey on you, remember: no one can see you until you see yourself.

Oh yeah, just hope no one gets shot and pray you don't get blown up and no one notices.

Take it from me, that's hurtful.

7:58 PM  
Blogger Hoba Gulll said...

C'mon Luke, you can do it. They will accept you for who you are. Just keep that in mind and tell them. Nobody's perfect. They seem perfect but arent'. Don't be like those be people and how stupid it may sound, Be you!

9:57 PM  
Blogger Kevin Davis said...

Luke, I hope you can make it to the party on the rooftop tonight. It's going to be blast. I'd really love to see you, man. Can you believe our parents think we're bad influences on each other? GMAB.

6:06 AM  
Blogger LukeSnyder said...

Hey, Everyone -

Thanks for the responses. I don't know if my mom is available for dating (she and Dad just renewed their vows, and they say third time is the charm, right?), but my Aunt Meg recently broke up with someone, and she's not seeing anyone else... that I know of. (Oakdale is a pretty small town, it's not like some guy is just going to roll out and drop at her feet or something, you know?). And Kevin, man, I hear where you're coming from. It's one thing to not be accepted... but totally forgotten? Sucks big time.

6:09 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Hang in there Luke, Holden will come around, he forgave for mom for Keith right? I mean we all would have been happier if Keith would have left Oakdale I dont know about the Julia met her demise...I hope you just stay strong. But remember lay off the booze!!

9:53 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Hang in there Luke, Holden will come around, he forgave for mom for Keith right? I mean we all would have been happier if Keith would have left Oakdale I dont know about the time Julia met her demise...I hope you just stay strong. But remember lay off the booze!!

9:54 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Hey big bro!

Hang in there, mom and dad will understand. I've know ALL along you were gay, ever since Aunt Rose died you've been talking about boys nonstop. Just tell them the truth, when it happened, and we can all blame that evil redheaded kid who killed aunt Rose ;) .

10:08 AM  
Blogger buddyboy said...

I hear ya, man. My folks think they know who I am, but they don’t. They want me to finish high school, then go on to college. Mom wants me to become a doctor or a lawyer. Why should I put myself through all that? My mom set up a trust fund for me, why can’t I just live off that?

I know what it’s like to feel like an outcast. I mean, just because I killed a woman… I mean, it’s not like I meant to or anything.

Maybe we could get together sometime and you know… talk. Maybe we have a lot more in common than either one of us knows.

10:55 AM  
Blogger Bianca Montgomery said...

Hi, Luke. It sounds like you're having a tough time and I can relate. My mother thought my friend Rain was a bad influence and paid her to leave town!

Just hang in there and things will work out. Hopefully, without too much drama.

It's like my dear friend Myrtle would say: If you want to see the rainbow, you've got to sit through the rain.

Much love and god bless.

12:34 PM  
Blogger Fari said...

Hey Luke,

Frustrating huh? But you know what? Life can be to short to get all down on yourself.

I kinda understand the whole parents thing, it's one thing to know that they love you, it's a whole other thing feeling it.

Just be yourself and hang in there, you are certainly NOT alone in this!

3:57 PM  
Blogger Mahdi said...

Luke, there is someone in your family who accepts and loves you uncondionally. Please confide in your grandmother, Lucinda. She will help you find your way!

6:28 PM  
Blogger Iva said...

Luke, This is your grandmother here. I really would be there for you if I wasn't written off the show. I even have proof that I was a match for your kidney, but no one bothered to ask me. Lame, totally lame.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Annmarie said...

Luke i just wanted to say hang in there and you are who you are don't worry:)

9:59 PM  
Blogger GlendoraInteract said...

Well, since it's obvious you're gay, how about a date with me?

8:57 PM  
Blogger Nat said...

this makes sense, you turning out to be gay. this is why incest is illegal! you people need to expand that gene pool in oakdale - stop sleeping with each other. it turns you into nothing but inbreeders and freaks!

12:32 PM  
Blogger AaronSnyder said...

Hey, Luke. It's your cuz. Sure do miss you, Dude. You know, I had a lot of hard times with Dad, too. But he is really cool. Tell him what's on your mind.

But I think I know what you're going through. I went through the same thing before I came out to Oakdale. It's nothing. Everyone goes through it. But you don't have to give in to it. Start hanging around the hot chicks in Oakdale -- well, if you can find some your age. You'll know before long that you're just like any other hot red-blooded American boy.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Alison Stewart said...

Aaron got a blog. I am so excited. Of course its not like i dont see him every night. So glad his mom is home. Luke give us a call sometime, maybe you could come visit if your parents will let you. See you soon

8:02 PM  
Blogger Starlee Banks said...

Hiccough Huh? That tells me you're a pretty smart kid. Not too many teenagers use that word. Well, spelled that way anyway. I think you will figure this out. Your parents are just acting the way they are because they love you. Trust in them and be truthful and all will be well.
My Very Best. Starlee Banks.

6:20 AM  

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